We belong in a bundle of life

“Ubuntu is very difficult to render into a western language. It speaks of the very essence of being human. When we want to give high praise to someone we say, 'Yu, u nobuntu'; 'Hey so-and-so has ubuntu.' then you are generous, you are hospitable, you are friendly and caring and compassionate. You share what you have. It is to say, 'my humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours.' we belong in a bundle of life. We say, “A person is a person through other persons.'"

Never has this quote from Desmond Tutu seemed so relevant than it does this week as the Supreme Court of the United States takes up discussion and arguments over two cases that directly relate to marriage equality. This is a topic so mired in stigma and profound conviction (on both sides) that it is terribly difficult to have productive discussions about it across the plumb line of ideological separation. But the thing that brings people together more often than not in this debate is the personal component.

In Sunday school we have been discussing the Civil Rights movement in Birmingham during the 1960s. Having just screened Mighty Times: The Children’s March from Teaching Tolerance and HBO, our conversation in Sunday school moved to the comparisons between the Civil Rights movement and the gay rights movement. While may opined that there were many similarities, others of us (me included) admitted to having difficulty fully finding the two movements congruous. To be sure, many of the same principles are present: equal rights for a specific group, a struggle to change public opinion, the changing views of the presidential administration, and pushes for legislation.

However, someone in our class said something that, at the time, I found myself disagreeing with. He made the assertion that, unlike the Civil Rights movement of the 1960s, the push for LGBT equality is far more personal than corporate. Having thought over this more, I find myself agreeing to a certain degree. In almost every case, even the more public expressions of support, the change in consensus over LGBT equality has happened one person at a time. Vice President Biden’s mind began to change because of Will & Grace. President Obama’s because of his daughters’ words about their friends. Senator Rob Portman’s change came through many conversations with his gay son. These are just three big-name examples, but just about anyone I have spoken to who has claimed a shift in their own views on LGBT equality has admitted the change came about through interaction with someone they know who is gay.

Even churches that have made the decision to become welcoming and affirming of LGBT persons more often than not have made the change because of specific people in their congregations whom they love. Yes, change on this issue comes with struggle and, often, with some heartache. No real change of any kind comes without those things. However, more churches are beginning to open their doors to the LGBT community with an attitude of welcoming and acceptance. Gay Christians are becoming rarer as the stigma surrounding homosexuality becomes weaker, and homosexuals are not required to segment themselves within their Christian fellowships by their orientation. They no longer have to use their sexual orientation as an adjective to describe their Christianity. As churches focus more on being caring communities of equality and grace, sexual orientation and gender matter less, while relationships and ministry matter more.

This is why this week is so important. For the first time, the body that interprets the law in our country is looking at a very personal topic and providing a very public response. The decisions that stem from arguments this week will be landmark and could pave the way for equality in a way that hasn’t been seen since the 1960s. Repairing the law may help lead the way for more people to have the courage to come out of their own closets of hidden support. It may help more churches find the strength to face this issue with compassion and grace.

After all, we all belong in a bundle of life. We exist, encounter life through other people, and they through us. The tide of this debate will continue to turn no matter the outcome of the Supreme Court decisions. However, we will not stop pushing for equal rights for everyone, and I will not stop reminding us that it was Jesus who told us to love our neighbors as ourselves. It is that simple commandment that reminds us we are all already equal in the eyes of God. So let us strive to find ourselves equal in the eyes of one another.

Amen.